.....and has moved here....

So,all ya lovely people, update your links and hope to see ya at FLOTSAM!

Girlfriends...the world would be reduced to utter meaninglessness sans them! Saw a bunch of giggly college kids (I AM old... I think of college-goers as kids!!! HELP!!!) and was reminded of something from my glorious past..college days, I mean!

14th February 1997... four heartbroken 18 year olds...Mich, Manisha, Paps and moi. Now, I am not going to get into the painful details of the heartbreak, but suffice to say that we were feeling miserably down-in-the-dumps. And the fact that it was Valentine's Day and we were trapped in a 300-women strong hostel, where of the 300 some 250 odd had boyfriends of which some 200-odd were in Delhi and these 200 odd would start sending flowers and chocolates right from 6 am! *whew* Yeah, so there we were, the four of us- heartbroken, miserable and down-in-the-dumps sitting in Paps' room and moping, when suddenly Mich jumped up and yelled, "We will not sit around and mope.. we don't need men to make Valentine's Day happen.. we will go out and have a blast!" This war-cry of sorts kind of cheered everybody up and soon we jumped out of the hostel and hit the GK M-Block market. Given that curfew time for us was 7:30 pm, we just picked up some chocolates and got back to the hostel.

Manisha, ever the one to come up with interesting ways of eating anything, suggested that we melt the bars in our coffee mugs and add a touch of cinnamon to it (try it people, its awesome!) and kind of drown-our-sorrows in chocolat! With our mugs of melted Dairy Milks and with Mich's tape recorder playing I'll Survive, we sang along, laughed and cried and hugged till all the pain was washed away and we felt much better about life. That was one of the best Valentine's Days of my life thus far! A day which started out miserably but one that ended spectacularly!! Even today, when the four of us are separated by miles and two oceans, we think back to 1997 and laugh our hearts out!

Girlfriends... really, what the hell would one do without them!!!!!

This post is dedicated to the two heroines/items/cut-pieces in my life- my cook and my maid! *grin*

Every morning my house is invaded by these two specimens. They are 5% maids and 95% guardian angels. They will fuss over all of us, give us a good talking-to when they think any of us at home are doing something stupid and will curse the world at large if the world hurts any of us! I love all of them and make sure that I tell them that every single day!

Heroine No.1: Nalini Bai- Age: Ageless! I am sure she is at least 55 but has the stamina and enthusiasm of a 15 year old, with a crazy, lopsided grin to match! Bai has now been working with us for almost 15 odd years and is almost like a surrogate mom to me and Pookins. A great believer in things like 'nazar lag gayi' and stuff like that. So, when I had come down with cold and then a series of minor irritating illnesses, Nalini Bai led the contingent to do an elaborate 'nazar utaro' ceremony on me. That in itself deserves a separate post. I find Nalini Bai extraordinary becasue she has spent all her life supporting her younger sister (whose talented ass-hole of a husband left her and the kids and ran off!) and her neices. She put the neices through school and made sure that they went for tuitions for their X and XII so that they could do well and get into a good college. The glow on her face when her elder neice- Sulekha- got into a prestigious college could have lit up a million dark caverns! Even at this age, she works 6 homes just so her neices can complete their education and she can get them into a good job. After that, she says she will rutire! To me, Nalini Bai's life is an example of the triumph of the human spirit. She braved all odds to survive in Bombay and survive in style (she has a bank account, has post-office savings and is about to buy her own Kholi). I am extremely proud of her and I love her, except that I wish she would stop trying to chase me every morning to put a kaala teeka on me!!!!!!!

Heroine No. 2: Lata Darling- Age: 22 but has already lived a thousand lives! Is a chirpy, bubbly, ball of energy who keeps the kitchen going and in the mad morning rush-hour ensures that Pookins and I eat properly before we leave home! Lata got married when she was 14 and so she couldn't complete her schooling. Saddled with 2 kids by 18 and beaten up everyday by her alcoholic husband, Lata used to often contemplate running away from her village. She finally did it when she was 19. Left her small village near Aurangabad and moved to Bombay with her kids- two adorable little girls she has just put into a pathshala. After toiling hard for two years and taking up cooking jobs in as many as 8 homes, Lata today can boast of decent savings, a roof over her head and a safe home for her girls. The past is like a forgotten nightmare and she knows that someday her girls will grow up to have jobs like didi (yours truly) does! I completely admire her dogged determination and her courage! She is my Lata Darlin'..except when she starts wailing loudly when either Pookins or me or maa fall ill!!!!!!!!

..No, I am not a Ricky Martin fan! Heard this song on Go this morning and it reminded me of my Management Trainee party! And now I am going to tell you how...

Every batch of MTs (management trainees or as we liked to call ourselves..emptys! Well, we did get paid the least in the organisation save for the support staff!) after their month long training had a lavish party thrown in their honor! Usually at some 5 Star or the other or at some very fancy Club. This was the ONE event that all of us looked forward to all the time. It was the one thing that kept us sane all through the torturous field training, the classroom sessions and we really wanted to let our hair down and PARTYYYYY!!!

Now,there was this one trainee who had joined our Delhi office and had come down to Bombay for the training. Let's just call her K. Now K just loovvveeeddddd Ricky Martin and all music that was Latino.. or one could also say all Latino that was, or for that matter, was not music. Someday I'll post about what she did to the poor Latino Trainee the Delhi office had!!!! ;) So, there was K who, like the rest of us, was all excited about the party. Now the MT party was also attended by everyone in the organisation, including the CEO! So, while all of us were really looking forward to it, we were also feeling a little inhibited about dancing wildly and drinking too much. Afterall, no one would want to puke on their VP or call names to their Super Boss in an inebriated state, right?

So, the party was on in full swing at the Bombay Gymkhama and spirits (not the supernatural ones!) were flowing and the music rocked and all of us were dancing pretty wildly... Then suddenly there is a change in music and one after another Latino numbers were being played. The few of us who were from the same B School immediately figured that K had had a word with the DJ. And we knew what was to come and so we slyly slithered away and hid behind a large pillar for protection. Why protection? Read on...

Latino music does something to K. It unleashed the demon in her. Or at any rate takes her to another place far removed from her current geographic location! I think the Latino beats transpond K to the land of the Salsa and of no inhibitions!!! As soon as the first Latino number came on.. and I think that was Un, Dos, Tres..K jumped on to the dance floor and started doing a version of Salsa that would make most people want to hide for cover, lest she pull them onto the floor or shake them till their teeth clattered! In fact, there was this one party on campus where a poor, unsuspecting junior was shaken and yanked around so much that he dislocated his shoulder!!! So, the bunch of us who had seen K in action knew what to expect and hence, were hiding behind the pillar.

Once Un, Dos, Tres ended, Livin' La Vida Loca came on. Dictated by the savage beast that was now controlling her, K made a grab for one of the VPs- a guy called JJ. Now, K is around 5'7'' tall and broad while JJ is 6'2" and could often be mistaken for a large stick insect on good days and on bad days he couldn't be seen at all! So, K continued her violent rendition of the Salsa and started twirling JJ all around the room. JJ was pulled, pushed, twirled, shaken..just like clothes are in a drier! Poor JJ looked like he was being run over by a large tank. Sums, Bobo and I looked on in shock. I just crossed my fingers and hoped that by the time this song was through JJ would still be in a position to stand! Sums (my buddy and batchmate from B School) was almost delirious and looked like he would pass out any minute. All through the song, all Sums did was mutter, "My Boss, My boss... she will kill my boss!" I didn't know whether to console Sums or to collapse on the floor laughing!

Finally the song ended and K released JJ, who flew across the room and crashed into a tray of drinks some four feet away! Sums and a couple of others ran to help him! By then the music had stopped and so K's trance was broken and she realised who it was that she was twirling all this while. She clapped her hands to her mouth and ran out of the room.....and was not seen for the rest of the evening... JJ, I am glad to announce, started walking after two days and at every Annual Meeting kept a SAFE distance from K! :))

Perfection.. time spent with people you love..be it face-to-face, on sms or on chat.... Back from another hurried,yet wonderful weekend in Pune. Woke up at 4:30 this morning just so I could get into office and send out some urgent mails to some moronic associate in Australia!!! Am so sleepy right now. Couldn't catch up on my precious sleep on the bus ride back.. they were showing some Salman Khan movie which I resolutely tried to blank out and I am on my way cos I don't remember the name!

Shopped like a maniac in Pune... and also met up with Appy. A wonderfully warm and amazingly level headed girl this one is! Love you Appy! It was reaaallyyyy realllyyy great meeting you....And lets meet up soon!!!

Was wondering on my way back to Bombay....

We live in an imperfect world (do I even need to say why?!)
I am an imperfect person (alright, I admit I try and trick people into thinking that I am perfect, my mom may think I am... but let's face it.. I am not! *grin*)
I am surrounded by imperfection most of the times.... (Jitters et al)
Yet, I always hope, pray and seek perfection....
....and I wonder why?.....

If everything, including me, is far from flawless and perfect, there are bound to be screw-ups, things are bound to go wrong and life will continue being chaotic! So, I may as well accept it and learn to live with imperfection... At least then, I will sleep well at night....

Had a very interesting experience last night... correction.. make that had a few interesting experiences last night.... and I can't wait to write about them!

First, met up with Dodo for coffee and dinner... As always, I feel soul-deep contentment..! Wish she and B were posted in Bombay instead of Pune! Alright, alright, I shouldn't be so greedy....speaking of Pune, am off to Pune again this weekend! :D I love that city! Think will move in with Maasi and commute to Bombay on a daily basis.. apparently a lot of people do that. Come to think of it... commuting from Virar (the last of the Western suburbs) to Churchgate itself takes around 2 hours.. and Pune-Bombay takes only 3 hours.. so it's really not a bad idea! I am digressing...

Second, on my way back home after meeting up with Dodo, I was sitting next to a woman on the train who was reading a book called 'The Playboy Sheikh'!!!! *grin* I couldn't stop smiling after that and I had to share that bizarre title with someone!! And I did! *grin* Then, I decided to get a little evil..oh alright.. a lot evil... so I asked the woman what the book was about because it looked interesting. She, very earnestly, went about telling me the story-so-far. Something about her earnestness touched me and I stopped smirking in my head. I resolve never to laugh at people reading any kind of books!

Then I got home. Entered the building compound to find assorted vegetables lying scattered on the cobbled pathway. A couple of brinjals, a whole lot of potatoes, onions, cauliflower and some other stuff lay scattered all over the pathway. I had just started wondering what the f#@$ was going on when I heard the scream! My first instinct was to dial 100 form my cell, then to call the night watchman and then to run and see where the screams were coming from.. I assumed, like any sane person would, that somebody in my wing was attacked...though I did wonder why on earth would the attackers attack the vegetable basket?! The screams made a everybody in the Wing open their doors and look around trying to figure out the source of the screams... The whole lot of us ran up to the 4th floor to the Sharmas' place. The sight that met our eyes was something hitherto unseen....

Mrs. Sharma was screaming in shock. Mr. Sharma looked like he had been struck with a stun gun... Their kids- two little boys aged 5 and 3- looked like they were going to be sent off to the Andamans for Kalapani... Vegetables were scattered all over the house, a bowl of dal was emptied on the sofa...and the 3 door-frost-free refrigerator stood there MINUS the doors! The doors were lying on the floor next to it...

Post-incident reconstruction of events: The brats were left at home with their grandmom while the parents had gone out. The brats (being brats) decided to have some fun... they attacked the fridge, threw all the food out and then swung on each of the doors- starting with the freezer compartment- till they broke each of them. The poor grandmom could do nothing... she was found in the bedroom with all the palak paneer on her clothes!

Like a wise friend once posted, no wonder some species eat their young!!! No wonder indeed!!!

I have nothing much to say today.. except that I think I need a long holiday to some place that doesn't have mobile network or the net! Yawwwwnnn.. Am sleepy... Almost knocked my poor, battered alarm clock to the ground when it trilled out this morning!

Last night while randomly channel surfing, I had the grave misfortune of tuning in to the local cable channel- the one that shows all the new movies (thanks to pirated CDs from across the border!). I happened to catch a few scenes of Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon... *I feel faint just thinking of that movie* For those of you who still remember which movie this is will empathise with me! This is one of the worst movies I have seen in my entire life!! It is SO bad that I don't have the right words to describe it adequately! I was dragged along to watch this movie in BLACK by Rads. Rads, who I am sure was PMS-ing, really wanted to have a good laugh and so wanted to watch this movie. While Rads laughed hysterically all through this crappy movie, I wished I could orb myself out of the movie hall, out of Bombay and out of the planet!!! It is SUCH a baddddd movie!!!!!

This morning on my usual train a bunch of women were celebrating somebody's birthday party and were screeching away to glory!
Haippyy budday to you
Haippy budday to you
Haippy budday to Rakhi....
Haippy budday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

A huge cake was cut and passed around, followed by Coke poured out into small plastic cups and finally some laddu or something! While all their screeching didnt let a lot of the Hibernators (commuters who sleep from the moment they get on the train till the time they have to get off!) do their usual I-am-a-snake-in-December stuff! The Hibernators hated them, am sure. As did people like me who couldn't drown them out inspite of having ear phones glued on!

I think I have rambled on quite a bit and so will take myself away... the office looks rather deserted.. there is some crazy seminar for which most of my team has gone and thankfully I didn't have to waste a day there!

Have a good day everybody! Yawwwwnnnnnnn!

So, I was ambushed yet again! Annnnnnddddddddd *Drumroll* I managed to get rid of him. I am good at this! In fact, I am more than good. *evil grin*

The setting for the ambush was pretty traditional - the Saraswati Puja at the Pune Cantt. Loads of Bong uncles and aunties (mostly in yellows!!), loads of squealing kids, teens in very in-your-face I-am-traditional-for-today kinda clothes and then there was a motely bunch. A visibly irritated yours truly, a smirking Pookins (Deliberately attired in bhesturn outphit), sniggering Timps and Pinks (also rebelliously attired in bhesturn outphit and in black respectively) and finally, Maa and Maasi looking very thrilled...and excited! We entered the Puja pandal and had barely finished with offering the onjoli when Maasi shrieked with happiness and flew in the general direction of a large yellow blob. The hugging done, we could make out that the large yellow blob were actually two yellow blobs..errr.. I mean, women, identical twins known as Tumpi di and Mampi di (someday I will do a post on the bad Bong nicknames that I've encountered.. well, for now, just go read Jhumpa di's The Namesake!! :) ) .. Tumps and Mamps were introduced to my mum and Pookins and me.. and they insisted that we call them Tumps and Mamps!! Also found out that 'The Suitable Boy' was Tump's son! Tumps looked very indulgently at me and said, “My tublu is very shy…if he doesn’t talk, you please talk, ok?” I heh-heh-heh-ed to myself and thought, of course I will talk. evil grin

While Tumps got pally with Maa and bonded and exchanged notes with Maasi, I stood there entertaining myself with visions of Tumps morphing into a sunflower or a pile of turmeric powder and then re-morphing herself back into the loud, gregarious woman in yellow chasing all eligible women with a large sunflower, yelling, “My Tublu is very shy!” I snapped back to reality when an obviously tortured TUBLU was introduced to me. I think once God burdened Tublu with a mom like Tumps, He/She decided to give Tubs a break and let sanity prevail on Tumps when it came to naming her son. Tubs is known to the world at large as Rahul.

After the initial hi-hello and what-do-you-do-in-Bombay kind of randomly polite questions, Tumps pushed Rahul and me in the general direction of some empty chairs away from where the 'families' were sitting and we had no option but to seat ourselves down and TALK. Here is what happened:

Me: I have always wondered what investment bankers do..what is it that you do? (combined with innocuous grin)
R: Well… we..we are like consultants but …. (RA RA RA… ten minute long spiel on I-Bankers and their work and analyses….)
Me: Wow.. it sounds so difficult… you must be very intelligent!
R: uh…
Me: So, what do you do when you are not working? (Heh heh heh… my starting point…)
R: Usually catch up on sleep and read
Me: I loooovvveee reading… especially books about emotions and feelings.. have you read Betty Neals?
R: Betty Neals? Havent heard of her… what kind of books does she write?
Me: About people, love, emotions… like this one I am reading right now called ‘That Night’..its very passionate!
R: Oh okay… romance…
Me: Yes, but it is also about people and emotions and she has some very memorable characters.. I just love all her books!
R: So, do you like music?
Me: Oh yes, I love music. Especially pop. My favourite is Britney Spears. She is so intense. And all her songs, I feel, are speaking to me. I love her music! I also like N Sync, Blue, Backstreet Boys….
R: I prefer classical music… Indian and Western….
Me: Oh.. I find classical music very boring….classical music is the same as lift music, right? Like they play in the hotels and aeroplanes?
R: No.
Me: Oh… but I love watching TV..
R: Yeah, like what on TV?
Me: Serials! I love TV serials… Kyunki saas bhi kabhie bahu thi is my favourite… I love Tulsi’s character.. I want to be a good wife like her.. she is so perfect… the perfect wife, mother, daughter-in-law.. I just love her
R: look, I have to make a call. So, see you later?
Me: okay-dokay. See you later alligator!
R: Bye.
Me: Raaahuullll…. You meanie, you have to say, ‘in a while crocodile’…say it.. say….
R: in a while crocodile…..
Me: Miss you, miss you, cant wait to kiss you….
------------------------------------------Not a peep out of him-----------------------------------------

Once he left, I laughed hysterically for almost ten minutes and then composed myself and walked back to where the ‘families’ were. Rahul was nowhere to be seen. Tumps went out looking for him. Came back without finding him. Didn’t say anything about calling us or something. Possessing a very accurate mom-radar, Maa figured I had done something again to scare off the guy and gave me a glare. I looked back innocently. Maa glared somemore and gave me that look (the one she’s been giving me since I was 4 or younger) which means just-get-back-home-you-brat….

Thus ended Ambush #2…

Score:
Ostrich: 2 Mom and Co. : 0

Have spent two wonderful days in Pune. At my maasi's place. Life here has been like one big pyjama party and I don't want tomorrow to go by... I don't want to be back to Bombay, least of all don't even want to look at yellow-haired Jitters! This weekend has been PERFECT so far!